They say teachers make the worst students. I've actually met them, you know. The ones who say that. I was attending a teacher's workshop making copious notes about the inane stories the facilitator told regarding her pet golden retriever. I had even constructed a top ten list, ala Letterman, entitled "Top Ten Reasons Burned-out Teachers become Consultants" much to the amusement of all but one of my "table learning buddies".
I saw him talking to the facilitator during a "stretch your mind time". We were supposed to be "pairing and sharing" about some relevant teaching style. Most of us took the opportunity to make triangular paper footballs out of the "brainstorming cloud" handout. But he raced right up to the easel and spoke with her while pointing menacingly back at our table. What a narc.
Later, when she dismissed the class for lunch, she asked our table to stay behind. Did we hear her correctly? Was she keeping us for lunch detention? She actually reprimanded us for not taking the workshop seriously. She reminded us how important EVERYTHING was. Her, her time, the teaching profession, good oral hygiene, being a responsible pet owner, etc...
Frankly, I didn't really hear her after the third thing on her tirade. I was imagining her in her underwear.
When she was through, I politely suggested that little brown-nose-narc-boy (aka, Peppy Paul, according to his name tag) relocate to a different table so that his condescending sighs wouldn't distract us. I thought I was being diplomatic. This proved to be "not wrong, but different thinking" much like earlier when I thought I was being discreet by sharing my top ten list with my friends at the next table via a finger flicked triangle of paper. It probably would have gone largely unnoticed had I not raised my arms straight in the air indicating that the kick was GOOD! (Honestly, if the PowerPoint presentation had been more captivating no one should have noticed me.)
Paul disappeared in a huff and the facilitator returned to her podium grumbling. Her clip on microphone was turned on so we heard her loud and clear. "I swear, teachers make the worst students." So I guess it must be true. Then again, I never take consultants too seriously.
I was reminded of this recently because every Monday night I find myself on the wrong side of the desk. I'm taking Arabic classes and I suck at it.
My defense mechanism, when confronted with a difficult task, is to not take it seriously. Of course, this only makes it a more difficult task. But at least it's funny. It would be more fun to actually speak the language, but not as funny. So I struggle with poor pronunciation and a ten word vocabulary, most of which I have to get from a handout in front of me.
Really, I have no idea how I learned to speak English. I may have to study. Actually, make an effort to look up words and practice remembering them outside of the one hour per week class. Sounds crazy doesn't it? Like something I tell my students. I wish I would just start babbling Arabic one day like Bart Simpson babbled French when he discovered his foreign exchange hosts were putting anti-freeze in the wine.
Maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Maybe teachers ARE the worst students. Maybe I am simply lazy. Maybe I am incapable of exerting effort in more than one thing at a time. I am trying hard to lose weight by adopting a new lifestyle of eating right and exercising. I am trying to be the best teacher I can by attending workshops and preparing for parent conferences this week. I am trying to improve my guitar skills by playing everyday. No wonder I don't have enough energy left over to learn a new language or write amusing stories all the time. If I could only quit my job, that would free up at least a few hours each day that I could devote to more cerebral pursuits. But how could I spend less time at my job and still get paid huge sums of money? I know! I'll become a consultant! Of course, I wouldn't take myself seriously, but at least I'd have more time to work on my Arabic.